Fighting back tears.

The past few weeks have been very busy.   We welcomed our first granddaughter.  She is a true blessing.  Plus a nice addition to the 2 granboys we have.  She rounds out our family very nicely.    Moma and baby are both doing wonderfully.

You would think with this new adorable addition to our family.  That I would be bubbling over with excitement, with no down days.  Even though I’m excited about her arrival.  Things have not be peachy for me.  The blessing of her arrival is the only thing that has gotten me threw this far.

This fact, has me seriously wondering what is going on with me?  Since the beginning of the year.  I’ve been fighting against a big dark blanket that is covering my whole life.   Of curse I’ve done the things you are suppose to do when you feel this way.  I’ve seen a therapist and talked threw a lot of issues.  I’ve done the work that needed to be done.  I’ve been on meds for many years now.  Under a doctors supervision. And everything has been fine until now.  So what is going on?  No matter how hard I try I cant shake off this wet blanket that has taken over my life.  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person that is or has been threw this phase in life. Witch is why I’m blogging about how I’m feeling.  I’ve never been an “Ole pity me” person.  I’m hoping that someone will read this and know they are not alone in how they feel.  Plus hoping to hear from some who have been threw it with, helpful suggestions to work threw this phase.   All I want is to work threw this phase and put it behind me with the lesson learned.  To find the person I use to be.  Happy, ready to take on the world.  Spreading cheer and positive energy to everyone around me.

All the doctors tell me, I’m healthier then most 42 years they see.  And that it isn’t anything medical that is causing me to feel this way.  I’ve researched mid-life crisis, hormone flux, everything that I can think of.  Some of the things dealing with mid-life crises fit.  But really enough to say that is the issues.

Looking for any positive advice from others that have been threw this.  And to let the ones going threw this same thing, know they are not alone.    Plus it isn’t as dark as it seems like.


















15 thoughts on “Fighting back tears.

  1. Hi Tina, I follow SpiritualJourney17 who reblogged this post. I’d love to send you something but in private if that’s ok with you. Please send me an email at with the subject “wet blanket” so that is stands out in my inbox and I’ll know who and what it’s about.

    For any others that might read and not be able to muster the strength to comment, know that you are not alone. Many have been and are where you are right now. Some of the things that come to mind are “It’s a bad day, not a bad life” and accept your feelings, and release them so that you can move forward. I have actually written two guest posts that touch on this subject very closely but I don’t want to link to them without your permission Tina because this is not an attempt to shamelessly promote myself. If you are ok with it, I’ll provide the links in a separate comment upon receiving your reply.

    I have been there, things can and will get better. Sending lots of positive, peaceful, energizing vibes your way.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Read your post on spiritual Journey, and thought I would send you a few lines, as you are aware, you are not alone in this and many people go through thses feelings of despair, it is difficult from a distance to send sound advice, but you obviously are thrilled about your new addition to the family and this is very positive for you. I know you have probaly already heard this, but focus on a definite thing is and would be good for you, I know you don’t regard yourself as feeling sorry for yourself or getting down for long periods of time, but this is happening, your mind set is very important at the moment, you need to focus on nice things, or maybe even a new hobby, even your blog,something you can look forward to and work your way towards, the less time you have to think about your invisible problem the better, (I don’t mean you don’t have a problem, I just mean it is not tangible to you at the moment) the more you can focus on something else the less possibility the problem has to raise to the surface. Nothing lasts forever, so hang on in there you can come out of this, If you have the need to cry, cry, most people feel better after having a good cry, it releases alot of pressure that you feel within, then turn it around and think of something that always brings a smile ……..

    You are not alone and believe deep down in the strong and happy person you know you are.


    Liked by 3 people

  3. it sounds as if you may be a sensing type. What you are feeling may be more macrocosmic than you might imagine. The world is undergoing some very drastic changes behind the scenes. MSM won’t talk about it. The government is covering it up. The churches won’t talk about it.
    I too, like you, am usually pretty even keel. This year has been one of ongoing jolts of reality. It keeps intensifying. It has to do with overall consciousness and being aware of the changes. Systems that haven’t been active on this planet for millennia are coming into play once again. Unfortunately, these are very dark and you may be tuning in or feeling this. If you are, you are going to want some answers.
    You are welcome to stop by my blog if you wish where the changes have been outlined as they have been happening. I hope this helps. Click on my icon.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Spritualjourney17 sent me your way. You are not alone, I know this helps to know and at the same time, you may still feel alone. Just by reaching out and letting others know how you feel, is a beautiful gesture of self-care. And all of us can help hold space for you as you sit with and work through it. Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As has already been shared the planet is undergoing great and vast changes. The “energy” along with the vocabulary which supports it has entered a new season.
    One of the blind and frustrating spots is when these kinds of global changes are in the works and sensitive folk(mercy gifted) like youself are unable to develop the necessary vocabulary to be able to discern what it is they are sensing.
    Not knowing or sensing which grids other than your sensitvity to the world of energy I amsomehat limited to share more.
    Can share that inside the world of energy are several elements.Time and place are woven inside energy. You’re heightened sensitivity is like a spiritual barometer. No meds, thoughts or well intended words may be able to answer your human spirit’s mesurements of what it is that is in the works at this time.
    I wish you well.\If so led and sense a tug to go deeper to discover the true source of the energy your spirit is measuring we are happy to share.

    Liked by 1 person

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